Official

Care And

Feeding

Guide

The Official Guide to the Care and Feeding

of your Byrdman Ex-Wife Doll

© 2004

All Rights reserved

Congratulations!

You now own a very very high maintenance exwife doll. Handling differs depending on the model you bought ( Ex #1 Ex #2 or Ex #3.). There are some similarities though. They all wear Freudian slips and have a sweet fragrance to them until they get comfortable..(ergo, the need for more than one).

Byrdman EX-Wife Versions available to date

(till I find my next ex-wife)

Doll #1: This is the one that stays the sweetest when you're around. Keep her in the kitchen (she will always improve your appetite).

Doll #2: This one will try to get into your pockets and take anything she can find, and will always want to go home with anyone who visits your house. She is known to attack anything that moves. She will want all from you (including a phone list of all your friends). Keep her in the Bedroom (she is most comfortable in anyone's bedroom).

Doll #3: This one will need you to constantly change her environment. (be prepared for her fragrance to decrease when you don't change the curtains and rugs on a monthly basis. Keep her in the bathroom, she will always help to keep it clean & fresh!.

Doll #4: Optional Ex-Girlfriend Model . This is the best model if you don't plan to keep her. You might want to have a change of fragrance for an evening or two. It won't matter if you leave this one in the motel as she knows the owner intimately. She is best kept away from any liquor cabinet or else it will change her scent.

To Change her fragrance:

Mount her on a stable surface, lift her skirt and un-screw her to change her scent

(be prepared for her to complain that you don't do this often enough).

This is fun because YOU Decide!:

Where

When

How Often

And how long your gonna take doing it

(In the case of Model #2; IF at all )

!!!! Warning !!!!

Do not leave any of these dolls unattended in any shopping mall with your credit card. It is guaranteed that your card will get maxxed out within minutes.

 

It is best to purchase all four models. You will find it's better to change wives from time to time. And having a girlfriend model nearby keeps you busy between wives.

It is recommended that you don't try to enjoy the fragrance of more than one ex-wife doll at a time. (mixing fragrances can be unhealthy)

Never Never Never show your ex-wife doll to any female with a recent pulse.

(They just won't understand).

Get All 4 Models!

"I did and look what it did for me."

(Quote By TheByrdman)