Byrdman's Guaranteed
(Some actually used by Byrdman over the years) (Most, however were not) 1. Hi (followed by really stupid drunken smile) 2. Hi, I took drugs in the 60's and I think I have chromosome damage; would you like to get together and make a mutant? 3. Well, Actually it is that I am happy to see you. 4. Trust me; those other guys are all losers. 5. So, Have you been going to singles dances for a long time? 6. So, Have you been president of this singles club for long? 7. Not much to choose from here is there? 8. Hi, want to walk down that nice dark alley? 9. Get in (sound of car door opening). 10. Nice tattoo, does that snake go all the way down? (Yes, this one created a byrdrule) 11. So, why are you here? What is your addiction? 12. Wow& nice birthmark! 13. What's a midlife crises woman like you doing in a biker bar like this? 14. Does that cause you to have a problem finding shoes? 15. Hang on, I need one more drink, you're still ugly. 16. So, what cold storage box have you been in waiting for me all your life? 17. Wow, I'm impressed. You don't go home alone much do you? 18. Don't worry, I'm not with her. 19. Get those teeth fixed and you'd be hot. 20. Does your dad call your mom "sis? 21. Let me buy you 8 or 9 more, I'm a nice guy; I won't take advantage of you. 22. Hi, I'm doing a study; I need to check to see if I can actually respect you in the morning. 23. Hi, remember seeing me when you were brought into county jail? 24. Is that your real hair color? 25. Nice bumps. 26. Amazing what they are able to do with plastic surgery isn't it? 27. You look just like my last girlfriend, you have a sister? 28. Nice wedding ring, Is it real? 28. You look pissed off. Feel like getting even with him? (She's responsible for the creation of 2 Byrdrules) 29. Hi, you should be careful sitting on this sidewalk. You could get molested by some amateur molester. Here is my card. (Card says "Byrdman, Professional Molester). (This one actually got me a FutureEx but I'm not telling you which one)30. Let me help you. 31. You know, if I squint my eyes youre not half bad. 32. I'm sorry, my hand just slipped. Thank you. 33. (Said after accidentally rubbing against a woman in an elevator) Thank-You. (Got a date using this one) 34. Can I offer you some gum&& Please? 35. Excuse me, if you're not doing anything for the next 40 years, would you like to fall in love and live happy ever after with me? 36. Hi, I am Byrdman...can I make a byrdrule about you? 37. I didn't think is was that cold in here. 38. Excuse me, but you look like someone I need to have breakfast with. (Said at night of course) 39. Hi.. I know a great Dentist..... |
